Gooning and edging

I have masturbated since I was 12 and just that same year in the showers at camp all the guys from church started making fun of my dick. I was confused at first but then noticed the two older guys only 2 yrs older they had huge cock. I looked back at mine and right back at you here cocks and didn’t look at them. Then they all started saying I was small, like really small. 

Anyway I have masturbated all my life thinking about big cocks. I always thought girls would make fun of me but they never did. They told their friends and I could see the looks staring to see if they could tell. Still id watch porn and it was big cock porn with girls. Then in my mid 20 I seen a IR porn and couldn’t believe it, so I searched and search and Everytime it opened up new shameful feelings. My penis tingled and get harder than it has ever been. Id cum in a minute or less.  Id ooze all day have sex and even during it with my ex’s I’d be thinking of them, me not satisfying them and mostly how they’d look and act with a strong confident muscular black guy with a 10 inch big thick cock.  Well ever since then now 15 years past I masturbated to BBC it changing from wanting to watch to wanting to be used by hung black men